My oldest is headed off to kindergarten. All the clichés are ringing true in my heart right now.
Where did the time go?
She’ll be grown before you know it.
These little years are fleeting.
Babies don’t keep.
Motherhood is hard for many, many reasons. Tonight, the hard I feel is this. She was part of me for the better part of a year. I was scared to death. Her daddy and her and I, we all learned this parenting thing together. Fresh out of college, practically babies ourselves.
And when she was born, there was suddenly a separation. She was with me, but not part of me anymore, in the biological sense at least. Because in my heart I still feel for her as I did in when she was in the womb, only perhaps even more. My emotional connection and longing to be near her gets bigger as she physically moves farther away. As she grows she is less and less with me. Starting tomorrow and for most of the days following she will be away from me for a good chunk of the day.
This pinch is more painful on days like today. When I look back and think of all the days I was frustrated, when I longed for her to be older, less little. When I wouldn’t read her a bedtime story or snuggle her… and I know those feelings are not over. There are days coming when I won’t feel like helping her with her homework or begging her to clean her room and I’ll wish for a moment that she was in a different stage of life. And then when the homework, messy room stage is over, I’ll be sitting at my computer crying about it.
So let’s just go ahead a break this cycle tonight. This is how life is. God made it this way for a reason. It was intelligently designed to make us blubbering moms useful for His glory, to make us more into the image of His Son.
These verses hit home with me today. Maybe some of you can relate. Not that my life is terrible and full of suffering. It is extremely blessed. But sometimes we grieve over the way life is, and these verses speak to that. But notice where the author takes us.
Gratitude, worship, humility.
As I am tempted to wallow in my pity-party I am reminded in these verses that I am loved in an unfailing kind of way. So my joy may be found full in Him.
I hope if you find yourself longing for days gone by, for just a little more time, for a do-over, you would find hope in these verses. Because in these fleeting days, the Lord is the one who can slow it down, establish our steps, make His ways known. So join me in placing your hope in Him.
As always, thanks for visiting!